Day in the Life of a Full-Time Working Mom Who Is a Distance Runner
Twenty-four hours, nonstop.
I’m Lauren, and I’m a working mom of 2 children, ages 3 and 5. I’ve worked full time most of the time I’ve been a parent. Since my 5-year-old daughter was born, I have had about 28 weeks off of work. Most of that has been maternity leave, but some of it has been bereavement, other types of leave, or time between jobs. I run long distance as a hobby, which I have done on and off since I became a mom. Otherwise, I am often pretty booked. As you’ll see, my day is broken down into 15-60 minute increments and I keep a pretty tight schedule. This isn’t always very relaxing, but it helps keep us on track and prevents tasks from piling up.
There have been times when this was very hard, and it’s still not easy, but it’s gotten easier. I wasn’t always so good at getting all this done, and it’s taken a lot of trial and error to find the right ways to do all these things.
12:00AM: I am probably asleep, but not necessarily. In the last few months, our son - always a good sleeper - has been sleeping fitfully. The winter stream of coughs and colds doesn’t help this, so now it’s not unusual for us to have our 3-year-old get up at some point. We trade off nights putting him to bed, but who helps him back to sleep is complicated. If he wakes up early in the night, it’s usually me because my husband probably just fell asleep. If he wakes up closer to my alarm, my husband will usually try to jump in to save me the sleep. I am a light sleeper, though, so I rarely fall back asleep once I hear him, even if there’s nothing for me to do. This has been taking a toll on my overall health, but I understand no parent really sleeps well.
3:45AM: My alarm goes off. I may take 5-10 minutes to orient myself, but I am used to this now, and I also don’t have time to waste (more later). I grab my workout clothes from the bed side table and put them on. I usually grab the laundry from our basket and also the kids’ baskets and head downstairs to throw it in the machine.
4:00AM: I try to be on the treadmill or bike by now to ensure I’m off in time to do the rest of my day. My workouts are early, and I don’t always love this - but I look forward to them, also. More than that, I look forward to the longer runs this consistency enables me to do on the weekends, which I do love. I’ve learned that on weekdays at least, if I don’t get it done in the morning, the odds of me fitting it in later are pretty slim. Too much can get in the way once the world is awake and has access to me. I fought this fact for a few years and I’ve been happier since I just accepted it.
5:00AM: I start some coffee for myself. I put the laundry in the dryer and make the kids’ breakfasts. Usually, I have pre-cut fruit that I did on the weekend and a muffin or hard boiled eggs for them to split. I add their vitamins and fill their drinks, then grab the lunches my husband packed the night before from the fridge and fill their school water bottles. I get their backpacks ready and put them by the door, then feed the dog and empty the dishwasher. I may prep a component of dinner, like rice, that’s mostly hands off.
5:15AM: I hustle upstairs to get in the shower. I’ve gotten my get-ready routine down to about 45 minutes with a shower, but I can’t waste any time. I try to listen to a podcast or audiobook during this time so I can feel informed, but often I forget and just charge through my tasks.
6:00AM: Dressed and ready, I get the dog out of bed to eat and give him his meds (he’s old!). I finish packing my own lunch, which is usually precut fruit and veggies and whatever I meal prepped for myself over the weekend. Sometimes I will take a frozen cube of soup from the freezer if I didn’t have meal prep time that week. It’s easy to assemble but rarely very exciting. I add that lunch, alongside any snacks or drinks I want to bring to work, to my work bag. If I didn’t finish any of my 5AM tasks, I’ll do them now.
6:15AM: I wake the kids up. My oldest is 5 and can usually dress herself and brush her teeth but sleepiness slows this process considerably and sometimes I will need to help her focus and make decisions. I’ve had on and off success laying out her clothes the night before, but she’s opinionated about her outfits lately. She changes her mind often enough that I’ve decided it doesn’t save any time to choose in advance.
My 3-year-old boy will often need a lot of help getting himself up and ready. I feel conflicted and guilty about not making him do more of these things himself, but I try to maximize their sleep so don’t wake them earlier even if it would allow me more time to teach independence.
That said, this is something that has absolutely gotten easier with the kids just being a little older. The days when I used to fully dress and hygiene two babies are over, and I didn’t really do anything but wait. I remind myself of this when something feels really tough. Change is a constant, and more independence usually brings more calm. The key is not to have a hack for everything, but sometimes just to wait and trust.
6:30AM: My husband is now up and showered and jumps in to help expedite everything. The kids have about 30 minutes to eat their breakfast. I will do my daughter’s hair usually while she’s eating and if they wander or lose focus I’ll assign tasks like putting on their shoes to ensure they don’t get absorbed in toys. We aren’t a “screen rules” house really, but I never allow them in the morning because truly the less there is for them to do other than eat and get dressed the smoother this all goes. I try to do any dishes I didn’t get to the night before and finish any dinner prep.
6:50AM: Final call for shoes, coats, gloves. I’ll start the cars and my husband will either shovel or de-ice as needed so we can both get out of the driveway (Midwest!).
7:00AM: My husband will take the dog to daycare. Our dog is old and can’t be home alone all day, and dog walkers weren’t cost effective. We each have a remote day each week, but on the days we aren’t, we always take him. I will take the kids to daycare. The daycares near us had insane waitlists, so our kids’ daycare is a town over. I usually will arrive in about 20-30 minutes depending on weather and whatever else.
7:20AM: I bring the kids inside and get them settled in their classrooms. They’re early arrivals, so there’s limited staff and I end up walking all over the building for drop-off. One stop each to drop off their backpacks and coats and then a stop each per early arrival classroom. Despite their close ages, they have never been in the same mixed-age early drop-off room, which I both understand and really sweat when I am running late. Four stops is a lot of transitions for little kids.
7:30AM: I commute to work, which is about 30-40 minutes from daycare. I’ll usually call my mom to check in or listen to an audiobook. I don’t mind the commute; it gives me some time to clear my head and a nice buffer between home and work.
8:10AM: I am at work! My work day is always a little different, but mostly I will do tasks and/or meetings until lunch. Most of the time, the morning goes fast because I am busy.
12:00PM: Lunch! If I don’t have a lunch meeting, I’ll try to catch up on any school forms in the app or other household admin that I didn’t get to. I may plan the weekly menu, sketch out a grocery pick-up order, RSVP to birthdays, or order items we’ve outgrown or used up. I also try to spend a little time sending messages to friends to stay connected, but this gets cut pretty often honestly.
12:30PM: Back to work! I’ll work until 5:00PM-ish.
5:00PM: I get in my car to leave. With traffic, I’m rarely home before 6. My husband picks up the kids and the dog most of the time because his commute is much shorter, unless I make special arrangements to do it.
6:00PM: Home! Dinner prep. Our weekly dinner rotation usually looks like this: Sunday leftovers on Monday, husband cooks Tuesday, I cook Wednesday, and then we switch off Thursdays. We sometimes get takeout on Fridays or eat from the freezer. On my nights, I try to have dinner prepped either the night before, that morning, or on the weekend. I’ll make a component like a sauce or dressing, cook a protein, lay things out on a sheet pan, or otherwise get it as far as I can. If traffic is really bad, my husband might finish cooking the dinner I prepped before I arrive home. I feel bad about how often I’m not home in time to help with this, but I also can’t bend time. If he’s cooking, I will fold the laundry and put it away while he finishes that.
I know it might be easier if we were to cook less often, but in the past it didn’t make as much of a difference as we thought. By the time I have selected a restaurant, gotten everyone’s orders, gone to pick it up, plated it all for the kids, and sat down to eat, I haven’t saved much time or effort. The cost and quality of eating that much takeout are enough to push us in the opposite direction.
6:30PM: We eat. I put my phone aside and hear about the kids’ days.
7:00PM: I do the dishes if I didn’t cook. If I did cook, my husband will do the dishes and I will do the laundry. I try to fold the laundry in the common area while the kids buzz around and chat with me. I know if I don’t do it daily I’ll never dig my way out, but so much of the evening is structured that I have to multitask if I want to spend time with them. I’ve experimented with every-other-day or designated days for these types of tasks, but it’s mostly been a flop. If I shoot for “every day,” I know it will happen maybe 80% of the time, which is the key to keeping tasks from drowning me all weekend long.
8:00PM: Laundry is put away. I’ll settle in on the couch with the kids. Sometimes we’ll watch TV, sometimes we’ll read books. We’re all pretty tired, but we’ve embraced a late bedtime so I can have more time with them. If we are giving a bath, we will do it now.
8:30PM: My husband and I each take a child for bedtime to ensure each kid gets some special one-on-one with both of us every week. My 5 year old is generally content with a story or two and a song, but my son has been especially fearful of the dark and having nightmares. We need to stay with him until he falls asleep right now. Also, daycare insists on a 2 hour nap daily and he is rarely tired enough on weeknights to crash. This is one of the downsides of daycare. I absolutely love our school, but I also know my son does not need a nap that long. The vicious cycle of poor sleep, which then pushes about two hours of his nighttime sleep to nap, then more poor sleep, is impossible to break. I don’t know what we will do other than continue to support him until something changes.
If I have my son, I will seldom leave his room before 9:30 if not later. I believe it is the right thing for him right now and also it really cuts into my sleep. I tell myself he won’t want this forever, but that 3:45AM looms pretty large as the minutes tick by. I try to plan my workouts such that on the nights where I have my son, I have an easier, shorter morning.
I’ve been tempted to call this a season where morning workouts aren’t a thing, but I did that after my father’s death, thinking I was prioritizing rest. Just about everything in our lives got worse. Without time and space to care for my body, I recede into nothing but a set of tasks and my mood, health, and energy all take a dive anyway. The extra hour or so of sleep is a sacrifice, but without my 3:45AM wakeups everybody suffers.
9:45PM: I am in bed. My body basically shuts down. I have been known to fall asleep with my glasses still on. I try to spend a little time with my husband, but since my son’s sleep issues we haven’t been able to watch a show or anything like that. Again, I tell myself this isn’t forever.
My husband is usually still awake and closing down the kitchen. He will pack lunches and finish any dinner or toy cleanup that didn’t get done so we don’t wake up to chaos. I’m glad he’s a night owl because I am more than done. It took awhile for us to stop focusing on equal and start focusing on equitable and effective. I shoulder more in the mornings and he shoulders more in the evenings. We don’t switch off, and this works a lot better. It didn’t happen overnight, but trial and error and a sense of humor honestly get you pretty far.
I will sleep either until 3:45AM or until a child or pet needs me. This is reality for us as a working family. I think there is often a sense that working moms outsource a lot of these tasks, but we just dive in and do it. I am thankful that we’ve created systems that keep our heads mostly above water, but it’s about consistency. The biggest thing is doing things in small chunks, in the pockets of time we have, every day. Every small bit of independence the kids gain helps this feel more sustainable, but I also love their littleness and never wish the time away.
We want to hear about a day in your life! If you’re interested in submitting a piece on this topic, check out Lucy’s and Amy’s entries in this series to get a feel for the formatting, and then send your DITL to thepomeditors@gmail.com. All moms from all backgrounds, ages, occupations and stages of life are welcome!
I am exhausted just reading this! You amaze me!! You should be very proud! And if I may add, your kiddos are pretty great!
This was amazing! 😍