I Don't Mind If My Kids Swear

I think it's healthy.

Charlize Theron recently appeared on the Call Her Daddy podcast and discussed her love for the word Fuck. She also said she swears in front of her kids and thinks it will give them something to look forward to. "They don't necessarily get to say that right now, but that's really fun because they're going to grow up and get to say what they want," she explained. Comments predictably oscillated between "cool mom!" and "child abuse!"

Like everything else in parenting, the topic of "swearing in front of kids" is nowhere near as simple as it seems, especially once the kids start asking questions. "Is Bitch a bad word?" they ask. Yes. No? Sometimes. "Is Darnit a swear?" No, say it all you want. "Is Dammit a swear?" No, but don't say it. Fuck is definitely a bad word, but I'd rather hear it as an interjection than as a verb. "Why is Fuck a bad word?" I don't know! We've all just agreed it is.

I grew up in a home where swearing was off-limits—my brother and I only recently started dropping the occasional cuss into conversation with each other in our forties—so I'm not big on it myself, but I live by a muttered "Fuck" or "Jesus Christ" that the kids may or may not hear. My husband punctuates his mistakes with a yelped "Oh Shit!" that the kids definitely do hear.

I don't think that's a bad thing.

The problem with growing up in an environment where some words were off-limits is that it set a precedent that some things are inherently taboo and uncomfortable. As a preteen, I was given advanced warning about my period in hushed tones that let me know that this was an awkward topic. Sex was another uncomfortable topic that was avoided at all costs. I don't consider this a mistake on my parents' part, but rather an ingrained family culture they passed down from their own upbringings. I'm sure it was a family culture based on manners and decorum and the best of intentions, but all it really did was bottleneck open communication.