Unexpected Costs of Having Children

I'm talking just the essentials, like Nickelodeon slime kits.

A white noise machine that everyone said will soothe the baby:
$25

A roll of bubble wrap which is inexplicably the only sound that actually soothes the baby:
$20/week

The cost of gasoline for driving the baby aimlessly around town between the hours of 12 a.m. and 4 a.m. because it’s the only way he'll sleep:
$15/night

The peripheral costs of walking around…