11 Comments
User's avatar
Madeline's avatar

I literally snorted with laughter mid-grimace at feeling so seen 🫠

My other favorite is, kids these days spend too much time indoors let your kid run around until the streetlights come on! Just teach them to stop look and listen at Intersections and use the crosswalk. What do you mean you want a crosswalk to the neighborhood pool? Children on foot should never, ever even mildly inconvenience mature adult drivers, and speed bumps are a buzzkill. Why do you spend so much time shuttling your kid around in your car? Let them choose their own activities! But not the ones where they could walk home afterwards, because obviously any child walking without an adult warrants an immediate call to CPS.

"Catch-22" is an insufficiently dire metaphor for how impossible modern motherhood is.

Beth's avatar

Be your child’s biggest advocate, but don’t agitate for protected bike lanes or safe sidewalks! That costs taxpayer dollars, and your kid is not a taxpayer!

Meredith McCann's avatar

Wow, this spiked my cortisol! Time to downregulate my nervous system with some mindfulness exercises and diaphragmatic breathing!

Lauren Mitchell's avatar

“be sure to sign up for my course” 😂😂 the courses never end

Amy Greenlee's avatar

💯 to all of this!! I have a long fiction story I've been trying to write for years about the way children are policed in society, but I may have to finish it after my kids are grown, because it currently feels too close to home. 😵‍💫

Jordan Call's avatar

I learned from another substack piece this week that in ancient Rome, fathers were allowed to "unalive" any of their children at any time, no questions asked, so now I feel like I'm maybe not doing such a bad job all things considered 💀

Lauren Mitchell's avatar

Brutal 😳

Goele's avatar

"When I was their age I was content with half a broken crayon and a dirty Subway napkin, and I was thankful." Thank you so much for writing that sentence.

Amy Colleen's avatar

Thank you so much for enjoying it 😂

Elisabeth sb's avatar

Completely perfect.