I'm sorry, "asleep by 7:00"?? 🤯 That's when we're having dinner usually! Bedtime for my kids (6 and 4) is 8:00 so after the bedtime putdown rituals it's between 8:30 and 8:45.
It's really interesting to me that in many ways we Americans revere European parenting but this is one area where they decidedly do not jive-- Europeans tend to eat even later!
Studies like this are bonkers. Don’t specify awake times, whether these kids are napping and for how long, or what the cultural norms around sleep are. Then Instagram ‘experts’ and sleep trainers take it upon themselves to make a quick buck off parental anxiety. No good. Go to bed when it works for your family.
I totally agree! My 3 year old naps at daycare, so there is no way she is going down before 9. She doesn’t nap on the weekend, but sometimes she will sleep in til 8 am. I get that little kids have higher sleep needs than bigger kids and adults, but assigning a specific bedtime (otherwise your kids won’t grow?!) is ridiculous.
My almost three year old has occasionally started skipping her nap, so we have moved from 7pm to 7.30pm for bedtime in an effort to counter this. But honestly, it often feels there is no correlation between when we put her down, when she wakes up and if she naps during the day 🙃
Our girls (nearly 4) are typically lights out no later than 7:15, BUT, this is only because of a perfect storm of factors like a) my wife is a teacher whose day ends at 3:30, b) I work from home and my day ends at 4:00, c) daycare is less than ten minutes from our house, d) we need them up by 6:30AM to make our morning routine work. Changing any one of those aspects would almost certainly make bedtime that early an impossibility.
I'm so curious to know if your girls still nap! My 3yo won't nap at home, but at his 2x/week daycare he takes a 2 hour nap. It's usually harder to get him to bed on those nights and I wish I could figure out a more consistent routine.
That's a really good point that I'd forgotten about. They haven't napped since early last fall (unless they're sick), and we moved their bedtime an hour earlier when that happened. We had the same problem (no nap on weekends but nap at daycare) until they moved to the "preschool" room where they don't nap.
My kids have always been night owls (by kid standards). The 6yo falls asleep around 9. There was a sweet spot when I got my 2yo to fall asleep by 8:15...until he started climbing out of his crib and we switched to the toddler bed. Now I'm lucky if he's asleep by 9. The trade off, and main reason I don’t care about the late bedtime, is that they almost never wake up before 7.
I have a 3yo and 5yo and bedtime is at 7, lights out by 7:45. However we are lucky if they’re asleep by 8:30–more often it’s closer to 9. It used to really stress me out, but they’re both happy and growing and you cannot force someone to fall asleep.
We try to get the baby down by 7 but she probably goes to sleep median 7:15. The 6 and nearly 4 yo share a room and we have them in bed reading ~7:30 and it's lights out around 8. Our doctor told us to get the younger one down by 7 but we haven't been able to make it work...
I have a 1,3, and 5 year old and we are in the bedroom by 8, falling asleep between 8:30-9 because of sports and dad getting off work. I’ve carved out mornings for myself and it works because my kids sleep in until 7-8 which is a huge blessing. While I would love and tried for many years to get my kids in bed by 7, it wasn’t feasible for our family. 🤷🏼♀️
2 & 4 year olds here. Little man is up around 630, naps in the afternoon and lights out after bedtime stories is around 8. The Four year old is the same, minus the afternoon nap.
I'm sorry, "asleep by 7:00"?? 🤯 That's when we're having dinner usually! Bedtime for my kids (6 and 4) is 8:00 so after the bedtime putdown rituals it's between 8:30 and 8:45.
It's really interesting to me that in many ways we Americans revere European parenting but this is one area where they decidedly do not jive-- Europeans tend to eat even later!
Studies like this are bonkers. Don’t specify awake times, whether these kids are napping and for how long, or what the cultural norms around sleep are. Then Instagram ‘experts’ and sleep trainers take it upon themselves to make a quick buck off parental anxiety. No good. Go to bed when it works for your family.
I totally agree! My 3 year old naps at daycare, so there is no way she is going down before 9. She doesn’t nap on the weekend, but sometimes she will sleep in til 8 am. I get that little kids have higher sleep needs than bigger kids and adults, but assigning a specific bedtime (otherwise your kids won’t grow?!) is ridiculous.
My almost three year old has occasionally started skipping her nap, so we have moved from 7pm to 7.30pm for bedtime in an effort to counter this. But honestly, it often feels there is no correlation between when we put her down, when she wakes up and if she naps during the day 🙃
Our girls (nearly 4) are typically lights out no later than 7:15, BUT, this is only because of a perfect storm of factors like a) my wife is a teacher whose day ends at 3:30, b) I work from home and my day ends at 4:00, c) daycare is less than ten minutes from our house, d) we need them up by 6:30AM to make our morning routine work. Changing any one of those aspects would almost certainly make bedtime that early an impossibility.
I'm so curious to know if your girls still nap! My 3yo won't nap at home, but at his 2x/week daycare he takes a 2 hour nap. It's usually harder to get him to bed on those nights and I wish I could figure out a more consistent routine.
That's a really good point that I'd forgotten about. They haven't napped since early last fall (unless they're sick), and we moved their bedtime an hour earlier when that happened. We had the same problem (no nap on weekends but nap at daycare) until they moved to the "preschool" room where they don't nap.
Well, my 3yo is very newly 3 and is also newly in the preschool room, so maybe he will drop the nap over the summer!
My kids have always been night owls (by kid standards). The 6yo falls asleep around 9. There was a sweet spot when I got my 2yo to fall asleep by 8:15...until he started climbing out of his crib and we switched to the toddler bed. Now I'm lucky if he's asleep by 9. The trade off, and main reason I don’t care about the late bedtime, is that they almost never wake up before 7.
I have a 3yo and 5yo and bedtime is at 7, lights out by 7:45. However we are lucky if they’re asleep by 8:30–more often it’s closer to 9. It used to really stress me out, but they’re both happy and growing and you cannot force someone to fall asleep.
We try to get the baby down by 7 but she probably goes to sleep median 7:15. The 6 and nearly 4 yo share a room and we have them in bed reading ~7:30 and it's lights out around 8. Our doctor told us to get the younger one down by 7 but we haven't been able to make it work...
I have a 1,3, and 5 year old and we are in the bedroom by 8, falling asleep between 8:30-9 because of sports and dad getting off work. I’ve carved out mornings for myself and it works because my kids sleep in until 7-8 which is a huge blessing. While I would love and tried for many years to get my kids in bed by 7, it wasn’t feasible for our family. 🤷🏼♀️
Could not find the studies from Harvard or Stanford to support these claims. Please provide links if you have them!
3yo in bed 815-830, asleep more like 9; 9mo in bed 745-8
2 & 4 year olds here. Little man is up around 630, naps in the afternoon and lights out after bedtime stories is around 8. The Four year old is the same, minus the afternoon nap.