Oh, Lucy. I feel this so much. I joked when my son was a baby that he was teaching us gibberish faster than we could teach him English. He has pronounced instead as "in-steed" for a while now, i.e. "no water, I want milk INSTEEEEED" and recently he corrected me to the standard pronunciation when I said "insteed." The possibility of this guy being a new kiddo around every corner keeps me guessing but what a valuable hope to carry through hard days.
Saw Justin Bieber twice for my kid. First time, I had to squeeze her in my arms, as she trembled and sobbed. She felt like human go gurt, her bones seemingly gone, a floppy human form. She couldn’t breathe, she couldn’t talk. She was motionless, but also quivering. We were in the cheap seats, and I was convinced she’d lurch forward and fall to the bottom of the Boston Garden, and evaporate.
The second time, within in that same year, as Biebs emerged on stage, she only shook briefly. She behaved like a normal, excited concert goer. Expecting another night of Bieber fever, I was surprised. Her Justin fever had broken.
It is more than a decade later, and JB’s pricey concert swag we bought that night, is boxed in the attic. She told me to throw it out. But I won’t. All my Justin knowledge fading, I know I still remember more about him than her now.
And she forgets who she was then, but I remember that too.
As an imminent first time mom (generation ... beta? let's go?) and long graduated alumna of Train World (I attended Sodor B.E. - Before Emily), this struck me from multiple directions. I have been surviving my mother's reflection upon / yearning for each of our discarded obsessions - ratcheting up with each week I progress. I also stopped to wonder, reading this: When did I put the trains down, when did we pack up our wooden tracks for the last time? (For what it's worth, I do still have an above-average fondness for trains and related infrastructure as an adult. But it's true, the borderline rageful vibrations faded, who can say when.)
What will be the new worlds my child with bring to me - and put down, leaving me in their wake as they grow and move and change?
Thank you so much for this. My son lived and breathed the Cars universe. We had deep existential questions about Cars characters and Cars religion (stemming from the existence of Cars pope?) and now my son is 8 and barely remembers any of it. I sort of envy him because I do not want all of this Cars knowledge. I don’t want to care that Mater was a secret agent with a secret agent girlfriend in Cars 2, which is never even alluded to in Cars 3. But I do care. It pisses me off so much that I should be embarrassed. So you’re right! Kids are amazing 🩷
I have also been the mom left behind with an overabundance of information about whatever their last hyperfocus was after they moved on... one of the more recent one was Norse gods, which is at least a pretty interesting topic even for adults!
This really hit home in so many ways! Our son is 4 1/2 and we're watching so many pieces of him that we've been used to just melt away and become something new. For a long time he would pronounce Rs like he was from Brooklyn, and it was adorable, but now at preschool he's been learning to pronounce them properly and, like, overnight the cute little accent went away. We're trying to hold onto a couple of his cute mispronunciations, like saying "camper" instead of "hamper", or "normular" instead of "normal" (seriously, why isn't that a word already??).
I'm grateful to live in a time when we can record something at a moment's notice, either sound or video. I think it makes these transitions easier because I'll have a little piece to help me remember each phase as they pass by, like I'm not afraid of any sudden movements that make these moments disappear.
Reading this was a great way to start my year with gratitude. Thank you for that! Happy New Year!
Oh my goodness. I absolutely loved this essay. My two year old son currently lives in train world. My 5 year old daughter moved on from obsessions quickly, but we have spent 9 straight months on the island of sodor. The podcast is on in the background as I type this!! Thank you for the reminder that he won’t be little, screaming about Henry and smashing tracks on the floor, forever. And thanks for making me grateful and excited, instead of sad, about it!
My nephew went through a phase like this! I took tiny him and his red panda stuffed animal on a train from Houston to Beaumont one Saturday (my parents picked us up there) and it was like the best thing that had ever happened to him. Now I don't know if he even remembers that phase of life, but I sure do - and my auntly heart treasures it.
This is so poignant, thank you Lucy! My daughter is nearly two and a half, and I really feel the whole “the days are long but the years are short” thing. It’s magical watching them grow, but I keep panicking that I’ll forget the cute stuff she says and the things she briefly loves…
Love that description of the obsession…the anger of the injustice that he will never merge with Train (though honestly anything is possible!). I get it, kid. What a beautiful thing to read.
Oh, Lucy. I feel this so much. I joked when my son was a baby that he was teaching us gibberish faster than we could teach him English. He has pronounced instead as "in-steed" for a while now, i.e. "no water, I want milk INSTEEEEED" and recently he corrected me to the standard pronunciation when I said "insteed." The possibility of this guy being a new kiddo around every corner keeps me guessing but what a valuable hope to carry through hard days.
Saw Justin Bieber twice for my kid. First time, I had to squeeze her in my arms, as she trembled and sobbed. She felt like human go gurt, her bones seemingly gone, a floppy human form. She couldn’t breathe, she couldn’t talk. She was motionless, but also quivering. We were in the cheap seats, and I was convinced she’d lurch forward and fall to the bottom of the Boston Garden, and evaporate.
The second time, within in that same year, as Biebs emerged on stage, she only shook briefly. She behaved like a normal, excited concert goer. Expecting another night of Bieber fever, I was surprised. Her Justin fever had broken.
It is more than a decade later, and JB’s pricey concert swag we bought that night, is boxed in the attic. She told me to throw it out. But I won’t. All my Justin knowledge fading, I know I still remember more about him than her now.
And she forgets who she was then, but I remember that too.
Isn’t it crazy to see?
As a Grandma now, I see this and get it. At the time, everything is chaotic and hard, but then - it isn’t.
Thanks for a wonderful read!
As an imminent first time mom (generation ... beta? let's go?) and long graduated alumna of Train World (I attended Sodor B.E. - Before Emily), this struck me from multiple directions. I have been surviving my mother's reflection upon / yearning for each of our discarded obsessions - ratcheting up with each week I progress. I also stopped to wonder, reading this: When did I put the trains down, when did we pack up our wooden tracks for the last time? (For what it's worth, I do still have an above-average fondness for trains and related infrastructure as an adult. But it's true, the borderline rageful vibrations faded, who can say when.)
What will be the new worlds my child with bring to me - and put down, leaving me in their wake as they grow and move and change?
Thank you so much for this. My son lived and breathed the Cars universe. We had deep existential questions about Cars characters and Cars religion (stemming from the existence of Cars pope?) and now my son is 8 and barely remembers any of it. I sort of envy him because I do not want all of this Cars knowledge. I don’t want to care that Mater was a secret agent with a secret agent girlfriend in Cars 2, which is never even alluded to in Cars 3. But I do care. It pisses me off so much that I should be embarrassed. So you’re right! Kids are amazing 🩷
I have also been the mom left behind with an overabundance of information about whatever their last hyperfocus was after they moved on... one of the more recent one was Norse gods, which is at least a pretty interesting topic even for adults!
This really hit home in so many ways! Our son is 4 1/2 and we're watching so many pieces of him that we've been used to just melt away and become something new. For a long time he would pronounce Rs like he was from Brooklyn, and it was adorable, but now at preschool he's been learning to pronounce them properly and, like, overnight the cute little accent went away. We're trying to hold onto a couple of his cute mispronunciations, like saying "camper" instead of "hamper", or "normular" instead of "normal" (seriously, why isn't that a word already??).
I'm grateful to live in a time when we can record something at a moment's notice, either sound or video. I think it makes these transitions easier because I'll have a little piece to help me remember each phase as they pass by, like I'm not afraid of any sudden movements that make these moments disappear.
Reading this was a great way to start my year with gratitude. Thank you for that! Happy New Year!
Oh my goodness. I absolutely loved this essay. My two year old son currently lives in train world. My 5 year old daughter moved on from obsessions quickly, but we have spent 9 straight months on the island of sodor. The podcast is on in the background as I type this!! Thank you for the reminder that he won’t be little, screaming about Henry and smashing tracks on the floor, forever. And thanks for making me grateful and excited, instead of sad, about it!
Felt this one as my son recently started watching Sofia the first after my daughter long abandoned it and I still knew every word to all the songs
My nephew went through a phase like this! I took tiny him and his red panda stuffed animal on a train from Houston to Beaumont one Saturday (my parents picked us up there) and it was like the best thing that had ever happened to him. Now I don't know if he even remembers that phase of life, but I sure do - and my auntly heart treasures it.
This is so poignant, thank you Lucy! My daughter is nearly two and a half, and I really feel the whole “the days are long but the years are short” thing. It’s magical watching them grow, but I keep panicking that I’ll forget the cute stuff she says and the things she briefly loves…
Love that description of the obsession…the anger of the injustice that he will never merge with Train (though honestly anything is possible!). I get it, kid. What a beautiful thing to read.